I Love Him, But…..

I was deeply in love, I was overwhelmed having someone that was more matured, experienced and has everything I needed in a man. Tall, dark,handsome with pink lips… oh my!

It happened on the 3rd of december 2012 when I was asked to follow back on twitter due to my nawti tweets, I did follow back and from that moment there wasn’t a day without us talking, we shared every secret and family information. We told each other what happened in our daily lives. We cheered each other up during bad and good times. Things became so real, and to think that I haven’t seen this person before.

My feelings for DONALD grew like wildfire every single day. I was in a bad place in my relationship but it ended not because of him. I ended my relationship on reasons that I wasn’t finding myself in the person I was dating. DONALD had a gf too but I didn’t care I wanted him for myself. He was the “PERFECT GUY” for me. We had our first fight like a child’s play and was resolved because the feelings were too strong to stay away from each other. Then, we decided to meet!

We met on a sunday afternoon around 2pm and I was speechless he was everything and more. We talked, held each others hands and laughed out things we have said on the phone and in chats. Then he planted this kiss on my lips and I closed my eyes and imagined being Cinderella who just got her ‘TRUE LOVE’ kiss, after he left the feelings became crazy as we started loving each other with words and expression (not physically) I wanted to be the best woman for him. 

The second meeting took place at my house because he came around my area for some work and thought to see me before he went back. My brother’s girlfriend was home and she met him, she completely liked him and wanted us to be more. Before he left I kissed him passionately because I wanted to keep a reminder in his head that I wanted to be with him.

We started having issues in February when I wanted time with him.  I understood his work schedule and how busy he could be but I needed time with him. Then march 15th I got a text message from him. I knew the message wasn’t mine when I read it. Apparently, he wanted to send the message to his girlfriend but it got to me, and at the end of the message it read ‘I LOVE YOU’ I was in shackles! I felt my world crashing down, I cried and cried, not because he still loved her, but also because the time I craved to share with him was also to be shared with her.

I was in pain and was confused. He called to explain things to me, I believed him but my heart was stabbed.  I still wanted him and this time I put so much pressure on him. It was too much for him and he took a decision to end it with both I and his girlfriend. I begged him and wanted to hate him but to no avail. I still love him till date. I wish I can have him back.

Was I wrong? Please advise me.


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OLUMIDE LAWRENCE is a writer, an artiste and a publicist. Started out as a PLAYER, now I am a Relationship COACH. Follow me on twitter @ilummynation and instagram @glowville Facebook: Olumide ilummynation Lawrence. BBM: 2A3B059E, 7E15126B.

6 thoughts on “I Love Him, But…..

  1. Yu are nt wrong… We cant tell our hrt who to luv and who not to! Yu r just fighting for d one u luv but be careful so yu don’t end up flat on ur ass! Let him luv u and see thru u…


  2. In concise,i dnt tink any relationship ever existed b/w u 2.U were so into him,didnt give him tym 2 mke up his mind.All d same,i advice u 2 let go,allow him 2 mke up hid mind;except u wnt a sympathetic luv…….u wil gt yours


  3. Hmmmmm, its so sad buh d truth is u moved too fast wif dis guy in question. U dint have a real relationship wio him and u stil went on and brokeup wif ur REAL boifwend 2 b wif som1 u know has a gurlfwend. That was quite wrong very rash of u. Its not 2 late dou, all u nid do is let go, stay clear off him and make him understand u can do wifout him. Try retrace ur steps and u’ll b fine.


  4. Babe,all have got to say is not to blame yourself,but try to give the guy space,let go of him and I bet you,he will surely come back if he is meant for you. What will be will be!


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