It’s normal to measure our own relationships against how we perceive other’s and use those perceptions to reinforce how awesome we are together or question if our relationship has any real lasting power. But whether we use our comparisons for good or evil doesn’t matter—because it’s a bad idea to compare your relationship with the one you think someone else is in. If you’re prone to using another relationship as the measuring stick for your own, here are some tips to break that bad habit.
Tip 1: Looks can be deceiving. Have you ever become a little green monster when you spot a coworker carrying your dream Louis Vuitton clutch only to calm down, moments later, when you realize there’s a good chance she bought it on credit? The same applies to relationships—what people show us may be complete contentment (the purse) and what they hide may be their fights behind closed doors (the bill). So remember that the only relationship you have all the details on is your own.
Tip 2: People show their love in different ways. Your BFF’s boyfriend may shower her with flowers and gifts, while the last bouquet you received from your man is somewhere deep in a landfill. But before you come to the conclusion that your friend has the better deal, think about how your guy shows his affection. Does he call you every night even though you know he hates talking on the phone? Does he compliment you on the daily? Try to focus on what your man does, not what someone else receives.
Tip 3: Have you ever heard the story about the man who went to see his doctor? It goes a little something like this: The man complains that it hurts every time he pinches his arm, and the doctor replies, “Then stop pinching your arm.” In other words, if it hurts, don’t do it. So the next time you find yourself comparing your relationship with someone else’s love affair, stop to ask yourself, “Does this help me at all? Or does this hurt me?” If your answer is the latter, don’t allow yourself to continue entertaining the comparison.
Do you ever compare your relationship with other relationships? If so, how does it make you feel?
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