I woke up this morning feeling so alive from last night good time I had with my lovely and beautiful girlfriend whom I have been dating for 6 months now. There is indeed no doubt that she is the one and I want to make her my wife but like every other young man in his late 20’s my heart beat skipped the very first time she spoke the word- BUY ME AN ENGAGEMENT RING. Why not? I mean I like her enough to put a ring on it abi? After all i’ve been hitting it –that Single ladies Beyonce song kept playing in my head for days until I decided to finally do it and the reality played a different song.
Now in reality, this phenomenon is not peculiar to my girl alone, even though most girls do not say it in that tone, they find a manoeuvring way of passing the message- there is nothing wrong in doing so because men these days never ready to settle ooo, dem still want to play even after dem marry sef.
Let’s assume that your man bought the engagement ring and puts it on you in a glamorous style in other words, he has engaged you. But the question you should ask yourself is have you engaged him? Have you even engaged his heart sef? I have seen situations when a girl wears her ring and rings the alarm to her friends, and for the ones whom she does not like, flaunts it on their face with arrogance.
They also push out other potential suitors within the long period of wearing this metal which I pray do not get rust around that cute finger of theirs. This guy walks freely at least not having a band that says “Taken” on his fingers or wrist thus making him vulnerable by the multiple single ladies seeking for men to devour and even the engaged girl’s friends.
In my own opinion, I think the man should also be bought an engagement ring or no ring at all and the goal should be engagement in their hearts and not on their fingers.
Women are not commodities you place a mark on in a large market to indicate that its been sold. Some women don’t even know this and they prefer to be yams instead.
I am speaking on behalf of the single and ready to marry ladies that will be able to think from this perspective and will not allow pressure cloud their reasoning especially at this marriageable age which your parents and friends have made you become. Studies have shown that 15% of engaged girl do not marry the engaged guy, this figure will continue to rise and as the level of economic stringency continue to soar, and you may wear that ring for months and even throw it away someday and move to the next man.
Some of these girls may be advised by friends and even their moms to take in for this guy and commit him to another level of engagement. This tactics to a large extent had worked and studies again have shown that men feel blackmailed and thus 17% of these cases that ends up in marriage do not have a happy home.
Now the advice is before you blindly accept that ring which may not even be worthwhile, think about how many months you want to wear it before he walks you down the aisle. You may also decide to engage him too at least you feel a little bit safe that way and please do not show off to your friends on instagram or facebook or even at the office.- you don’t have to impress your friends with that ring, unless off course its diamonds (winks). You have to be careful until he says I do even after the marriage sef, (smiles). As for those that gets pregnant to catch him, well that one na story for another day.
My ladies, be wise and be a goddess that you are, men need to worship you too and they need to be place where they belong.
Women have given them so much undeserving respect and placed them too high especially at this marriageable age. Your modesty and your fake calmness and nice attitude will not make him marry you so watch it!!! – at least not all- You need to give yourself a value and avoid the pressures. Your own wouldn’t pass you by but you still need to guard your man too if not… LOL!!!
Have a great Weekend. Muah!!!
Nwazuosa Nkem Kennedy
The Heart Prof.